At least the cat loves me is a post I originally wrote in September of '09 about self pity and support. I was going through my old blog this morning to see what I use to write about. It appears that some of my posts documented my journey in personal growth as a person creating change and as a coach working with others.
It got me thinking about the topic of self pity and life transition. I know for myself personally, I took a journey in self pity as I redesigned my life. I struggled to pick up the pieces, discover who I really was and what I desired. I was continually learning new tools and working to get stronger, but it was a messy experience. There were stumbles, hardships and at times self pity.
As I look back at how I was showing up for myself then, compared today, it is a world of difference. I did not know what I know today or have all of that experience behind me. It is a rare day that self pity or being the victim shows up in my life anymore. Along that messy journey I began to take ownership of who I am, what I desire and how to get there. I got stronger on the way, day by day.
I wanted to share the original post as an example of personal growth and change. When we are in the midst of the journey and it is messy, it can be hard to see the bright light shining at the end. Yet, if you pick yourself up and take ownership of your life, the self pity ceases to exist.
I got a new program for my computer this week and it was easy enough to install. I then needed to download a new program from the web that works with the new program. I thought it would be easy. No biggie, just hit download and then install. Well, the download went well, but the install did not. For some reason the download thought I did not have the necessary updates on my computer, but I did. No matter how I yelled and grumped at the computer, or how many times I tried to download it again (I did this a bunch of times), it refused to install. I sat there feeling very discouraged and frustrated. I thought maybe I did not deserve this shiny new program and I thought maybe I am just not good enough to understand this. I wallowed in my self misery as I went to get myself some more lemonade. The cat followed me to the kitchen purring all the way. As I pet the cat, I thought it is ok, at least the cat loves me!
Ok, it was time to get out of my little self pity party I decided. It was time for action. I needed help. I did not need someone to do it for me, but rather to show me how to do it so that I got the results I really wanted. I called technical support. A very nice man located in Kentucky was ready to help. He was very kind and patient with me. There were times I got frustrated as we worked together to fix my problem, but he never gave up on me. After we fixed my problem, I asked if he could help me with my email issue I was having. I lost my password and it refused to get the mail for me. It was a lot more complicated and time intensive (at one point I switched to my headset) than I had wanted, but in the end it was up and running.He even took time to show me how this new program worked and how best it would suit my needs. I thanked this kind man and signed off. How exciting a new program with new things to use on my computer!
I bet you are wondering how this pertains to you. Well, even though this is a true story of what happened yesterday, it is something that can happen to us as we go through life transition. Something in our lives is not working and we don't want someone to tell us what to do, yet we need someone to show us how to fix it. We can spend time thinking poorly of ourselves and just rely on the cat loving us. Or we can get the help we need to navigate this new path we are on. It is good that the cat loves us, that is always comforting. It is better to have a guide help you as you make the necessary changes in your life to move forward.
This is why I love being a coach. I love helping guide and support you with patience and clarity. It does not have to be all or nothing. So wether you hire a coach to help you through this process or not, look at those times when you want to give up because it is hard. Then find the support you need to help you get through it. Spend as little time as possible wallowing in the misery. Oh, and by the way, don't forget to pet the cat!
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