Lets Discuss the “F” Word

This is a word that seems to cause a lot of people trouble. They can't or won't discuss it when it is most necessary and needed.  They let the little voice in their head stop them or they will let fear block them. Discussing the “F” word can cause vulnerability. Many fear that, because they have been hurt before by being vulnerable. So it may seem easier to brush the “F” word under the rug, ignore it or pretend that it does not affect you.

I am talking about the word FEELINGS. I have seen people wait to say I love you, I care about you or I need you until it was to late to tell the other person. I have seen people not tell loved ones when they are unhappy, scared, worried or upset until they have pushed the loved one away. When you don't talk about feelings you can be left with regret or with resentment because you did not speak up.

UntitledThe fear of sharing too much or being vulnerable can stop you right in your tracks.  Wouldn't just be easier to let someone know that you are feeling scared, lonely or sad so that they can support you and help you get through it? Wouldn't be nice to let that person know that you love them, care about them and that they are important so that you can even connect more?

The more that we mask our feelings or push them down to deal with later, the more problems we will have later. They end up leaking out as passive aggressive behavior, tears at unexpected times or anger. We will be quicker to be triggered when we hide from our feelings rather than dealing with them, no matter what they are.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not your feelings. Feelings come and go from moment to moment. You may be joyously happy in the morning, frustrated by lunch and in tears in the afternoon. First know that your feelings are not you. Second, acknowledge the feelings as you have them and deal with them. Third, don't be afraid to be fully expressed. We are feeling beings. Feelings are what make us human.

When you are courageous enough to be vulnerable with your feelings, you invite others to meet you there. You will also have deeper connections with others. Isn't that what we all want?

 

+Michelle DeBerge

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